I wrote a paper and I would like for someone to proofread and fix any mistakes, grammar errors and read and write following the rubric. The paper was based on a video called ” A BRAVE HEART: The Lizzie Velasquez story. the way i did the paper is fine i just need the writing part to be fixed. I wrote the same word a few times.
Good evening, I wrote a paper and I would like for someone to proofread and fix any mistakes, grammar errors and read and write following the rubric. The paper was based on a video called ” A BRAVE H
The video “A Brave Heart the Lizzy Velasquez” story begins with Lizzy taking a sit on a chair. Then she starts showing who was part of the video with their names and jobs. The video starts showing the state of Austin, Texas. Lizzy began showing the school EMMA H. Galindo Elementary Grizzlies school where she went to, also talking about her first day of school especially kindergarten. She describes where the students sat and make the line. While all the students were making the line she said, “I would always hide behind this thing”. While the students were there, they would observe her being not uncaring. Then she describes how it was difficult for her to participate in physical activities. While the only kids she played with ran faster than her, she would get fatigued, and Lizzy would rather stay away from playing outside plus separated her more from the students. Then, the clip changed, it shows a different scenario Lizzy sitting down with lights around her and reading a note. She noticed everyone around her and wished she could look like them, but she also wanted to be understood. In the clip, she’s walking, and there’s a big t.v. it goes back to the school showing her crying a little. Lizzy never thought people could accept her, but twenty years later the clip shows her walking to a big scenario with many audiences clapping. The whole world was going to have the pleasure to know Lizzy. We are introduced to Lizzie’s parents. The video shows how happy her parents were and her mom Rita saying, “It was a normal pregnancy”. Rita didn’t feel any discomfort throughout the pregnancy. Rita gained normal weight; the pregnancy was going smoothly. Now, we are introduced to the doctor who delivered Lizzy Dr. Wilson “Rita’s OB/GYN. He said he didn’t notice anything abnormal. He did an ultrasound in the twelve weeks, and it didn’t show any complications with the pregnancy. Rita begins explained she gave birth in the early stage of the pregnancy. She describes how she was walking in the park, then she had contractions she thought she was “overdue” at the park. The contractions a lot of time. Then, we are introduced to Lizzie’s dad Lupe he started talking about how he was feeling, and he remembers driving around 6:30 in the morning it was dark on their way to the hospital. It was only silence in the cars the only noise you could hear was Rita’s pains. Lizzy’s parents went to the emergency room and Rita was “admitted because she was having contractions and she was dilated”. Lupe narrator what the doctors were saying “I remember they saying we’re gonna get the superman of sonogram “. The doctor gave them the news that the baby was coming out early. Furthermore, Rita expresses that the doctors were in shock, they couldn’t diagnose what Lizzy was born with. Lizzy was very tiny, the doctor compared her with a size of a baby toy. They showed pictures of her when she was a baby. Lizzie didn’t have any disorder, and he didn’t have a clear explanation of why she was born like that. Rita’s mom started to tear up, letting us know how Lupe described Lizzy. Lupe told Rita that Lizzy was very tiny and that she was in the ICU. Then, it shows Lizzy sitting on the floor with pictures around her. Lizzy said, “Doctors took a Polaroid picture” to show to her mom, they didn’t want her mom to be in shock when she sees her in person. Lizzy shows a picture of her when she was a baby, she describes how she looks when she was a baby “giant forehead “and added that she still does. She shows a picture of her parents holding her when she was a baby. She keeps that picture because she feels happy. For her dad it didn’t matter her appearance she was their baby. It never crosses their mind why they were going through this, they just wanted to take her home. Lizzy keeps looking through old pictures of her as a baby. Then, she found a birth tag that says “it says baby girl”. it also has her birth date, the time she was born, and her weight 2 lbs.10 oz, length 153/4 1.19kg 10cm. She didn’t have a name probably because her parents were looking for a perfect name. we get to see a little home video for when Lizzy was little; Rita was holding her and then put her down so she can go to her dad. We found out that they didn’t know specifically what her syndrome was just that “she can’t gain weight”. The home video keeps showing her growing up eating with her family. Rita says the focus for the doctors was for Lizzy to gain weight. Lizzy saw different doctors such as dietitians, and nutritionists, she needed to have shakes to gain weight, but she didn’t gain weight. Then they present a video of Lizzy smiling and learning how to walk. Rita was afraid especially when Lizzy has to the hospital for different surgeries. Since Lizzy was little, she was in and out of the hospital. She always had to through surgery, she could count on a hand how many she had. In addition, she started to name the surgeries she went through “appendix, intestines, surgery, eye surgery, ear surgery, foot surgery, studies, panels, MRIs, bone density scans, DEXA scans on my whole body.” She had to do a blood test all the time, the doctor had to put her on iv because of her veins. Lizzy had a procedure done on her foot. She had different tools and the doctor added a metal plate, the doctor put pins on all the toes so they can stay straight. She had to go back to the doctor for the pin to be removed one at a time. The doctors still testing Lizzy to find a diagnosis, until the doctors don’t find one, she must see the doctor. Lizzy tries to stay positive and remind herself after one is done then the fun begins. In this part, I couldn’t see the image because it only showed her feet at 9:46 minutes but I could hear her voice. She started by saying how she made a video to talk about bullying. She explained how everyone goes through bullying one day in their lives. She shows her classroom, then we are introduced to Lizzy’s first teacher. She talks about Lizzy being the first one in class because her dad was a teacher in that school. When she enters the classroom, she found her sitting, while the other kids start to come into the classroom, they look at Lizzy. When Lizzy was younger, she believes everyone was the same as her, at her she didn’t know but then realized they didn’t look the same. Lupe was afraid for his daughter at school, he keeps thinking about if the kids were going to be mean to her. Also, he knew kids are curious they mind asked Lizzy uncomfortable questions that she didn’t have an answer to. Lizzy’s parents never spoke to her about her being different from the other kids. Lizzy begins to talk about her experience going to school; every time she would get close to the other kids they walked away and acted like she was irrelevant to them. Then, the dad expressed how he felt being a teacher in the same school Lizzy attended he noticed how the other students would stare at Lizzy and talk about her appearance, it was frustrating for him not able to tell the students “Stop” because he needed to keep it professional. Lizzy continues explaining about the kids staring at her and talking behind her back. She couldn’t hear them well, but she knew it was about her; she was creating her own thoughts in her head. Lizzy didn’t want to open an object, and she found something that she didn’t like the words it contains. She wrote about herself; she didn’t like when people looked at her differently and thought she was so skinny. After, Lizzy and her dad develop a “routine” where the first day of school her dad went to her class and explained what her condition was. It helps her with her classmate, but as soon as she left the classroom, she has to deal with it again with the other kids who didn’t know anything about her. Lupe did it for a while introducing her to the class, and then by second grade she asked her dad not to do it again and that she was fine. Since she went to the same school where her father works, he was a little release because he could talk directly to the teacher if anything wasn’t going well. When middle school came, he couldn’t do that anymore she went to another school, and he was very nervous just to think he could protect her no more. He called his wife a lot of times to check if she received any call from the school. Then they introduced us to the middle school teacher, she started saying that the administrator told him she was going to “receive a new student who had some special needs”. They only told her that Lizzy couldn’t see well “visual impairment”. The teacher noticed how all the kids in the classroom stared at Lizzy and all the questions they had on their heads; Lizzy is a wonderful person and introduce herself. Then Lizzy continues, she couldn’t do it without the help of her parents. It was her parents’ idea for her to go in front of the classroom and introduce herself. She laughed at the fact she embraces it now. After she became popular in the school and he peers wanted to sit next to her, they even made lines to sit next to her. Lizzy started to embrace who she is, and even though middle school wasn’t so easy it helped her become the person that she is now. Rita told us how Lizzy wanted to enjoy the cheerleading team, her mom was scared something could go wrong since she was sick a lot of the time. Lizzy didn’t listen and kept begging her mom, her mom gave up and bought her all the supplies and clothes she needed. She made the team, and it was one of the proudest moments of her life. She celebrates her sweet quinceañeras, and all her family and friends were there. She gave a speech thanking each one of them for everything. She talks about when she was 17, her life changed completely she was doing her homework and she looked for music on YouTube; she was the most horrible video someone could do to a human being. She played the video and it said horrible things. She saw her picture, horrible comments, and “4 million views”. She didn’t show emotion when she was looking through all the comments but when she saw her mom she started to cry. Rita made a call and spoke about the horrible video someone made about Lizzy. Whoever made the video wrote “The ugliest woman in the world”. Lupe and Rita were heartbroken and couldn’t believe how people could be so mean without knowing her syndrome. Lizzy read all the comments and people said mean things such as why she was born, she was a monster, and she should kill herself. She didn’t let her friends or other people know she found that video. She cried Rita told her to stop looking at t but she couldn’t she told her mom to make it stop. They report the video and HE that made it received a notification, that person wrote to Lizzy “The subject had in all capital letters, I WONT GIVE UP” and added, “are you happy now that my video been removed?”. The person who did the video said he could put it up again it was information. Lizzy stop being sad and got upset. The family of Lizzy said if Lizzy was being bullied then the whole family was being bullied. They observed Lizzy go through all of that and asked those who wrote those mean comments what was happening in their lives that they have the necessary to hurt others. Lizzy’s dad told her she had to “forgive” that person, she asked herself how she could forgive someone who told her to end her life. After she discovered that horrible video about her, she started her own YouTube channel. She enjoyed it because it helped her show others, she was a superwoman no one could control her channel. She wanted to share positive messages to the world. At first, it was her side’s “hobby” but then it became part of her to be able to share motivational messages instead of hate messages. She wanted to create a positive and peaceful environment where people felt safe and could connect with her videos. She does the video for the public no matter if you are bullied her parent advise her, they probably are going through something worse. It took some time to ignore hateful comments, but after a while shake off and did not let those comments determine her as a person. she was recording herself and sharing a powerful message she was there to bring love, happiness, and support. She wanted to make a change in the internet world. She noticed how the messages from people were more positive than negative. She is a complete youtuber, she does beauty, fashion, and daily bloggers. She made a video for her channel talking about heels and how she would look, then a recipe for how to carry a bag. People would send her questions and she would answer them. Lizzy told her parents she wanted to write a book and he was excited. She said her parents will get the first copy. She was happy people were getting to know the person she is not what other people describe her on the internet. Then she introduced her father to her YouTube friends. She fixes her father and asks him if he ever saw her making a YouTube video and explained to him what he needs to do. They were practicing making a video and laughing here and there. Lupe started to spin, and she told her to stop, he was laughing and asked her why she has that chair and don’t want people to spin. Lizzy said her dad likes Facebook, they were talking about Lizzy’s dad a little and what he likes. At the end of the video, she likes for the people to ask questions or comment, Lupe said which song do you guys want me to dance and end the video, Lupe suggest he should start his own YouTube channel. Lizzy making those videos help her build confidence. Lizzy received a call that changed her life forever. She was in a joyful mood and was practicing for her “TED TALK”. She was extremely happy, and she couldn’t talk much about what she is going to be doing. Then we can hear someone talking from a video introducing Lizzy, she said kind words about Lizzy and how she felt about Lizzy’s story. Lizzy started talking about her life, letting the audience know that they are the ones in control of their lives. She continues by saying you make the decision to choose the path you want to walk. She thought the way she looks define her as a person. She wanted to get rid of her outside appearance, but then she realized that she wasn’t going to let people “define” her. She was letting the audience know how you make the decision to focus on your dreams and accomplishments. She was saying powerful words, and she wasn’t going to let those people who called her names define her, but she was going to show she could become whomever she wanted to be, and her appearance didn’t describe her. She wanted the audience to think about all the positive things they had and to focus on the achievement of whatever goal they had. One important message that she said was, “Brave starts here”. Then she describes she felt different after the TED talk, she felt positive energy, and she didn’t though it was her but the whole audience’s energy. After her TED talk, she had an interview with the presenter who asked her what her answer was, she said she thought she was dreaming. She continues saying not to worry about what others going to say about you, keep going, and follow your dreams. People were going to her congratulating her and letting her know she was an inspiration. she was very thankful for everything that was happening to her. every stage and person she made she kept inspiring them with her kind words, letting her know not to give up. People let her know that she was brave, and they were proud of her. She did more interviews and keep spreading her love to the world no matter the language and culture. Lizzy said even though some people may not have her same syndrome they might feel some time of connection with her story. Also, she says to not let the bullies determine the person you want to be. Furthermore, she went to Washington DC to advocate for the “Safe School Improvement Act”. She didn’t want to be the only person talking about bully, but she wanted more people to join and make their voices heard. She was talking to Tina on the phone and letting her know how excited she was for Tina to work with them. Tina was so surprised after watching Lizzy’s TED talk. Lizzy was inspired by Tina asking Tina about advice that could help her, and Tina said she talks about things that make her uncomfortable. We are introduced to Megan; she was born with “two huge dimples and brown curly hair”. Megan was a very happy person, but she was different from the other student. In kindergarten every time she would go home, she told her mom how her peers say she was big, that she could hurt them, and mean words. Megan tried to fit in, but she was going through so much bullying that her mom changes her school. When she passed 8th grade, she was more confident, had friends, and was part of the volleyball team. One day she asked her mom if she could open a Myspace account, her mom didn’t want her to have social media, but she insisted so her mom let her open one as long she follow her mom’s rules. Megan was requested by a boy Josh Ovens, her mom let her add him but if anything was wrong or suspicious, she needed to remove him from her page. Josh told Megan beautiful words and Megan thought he was cute. They send messages back and forth everything was going well but Sunday, October 15, she asked her mom if she could sign into her Myspace when she logs in, she saw a message from Josh saying mean things to her such as “no one wants to be friends with you”. Megan was asking questions as to why he was acting like that, and he involved some girls, they were calling Megan names that she was fat, and nobody wants her. Megan ran upstairs after a while her mom felt something was wrong; unfortunately, she found Megan hanging in the closet. Megan’s mom was crying saying there was nothing else she could it done Megan was gone. Lizzy would like to help others who are going through this situation. Everywhere Lizzy went she was recognized people would tell her that she was such a great person. Lizzy connect with other people who were going through a situation or syndrome. She gave them kind words and let them how they inspired her. Lizzy and her family are trying to find out what is her diagnosis. They went to the doctor and the doctor found out what was her diagnosis. She was talking to someone about what was going to happen when she found out what is her diagnosis. She was nervous but she was fine which whatever diagnosis she gets. The whole family got in the car to go visit the doctor and find out what does Lizzy have. They were talking in the car and nervous, not being diagnosed for so many years it was scary. She didn’t know if she was going to change after she hear from the doctor what was wrong with her. the family and Lizzy enter the doctor’s room, and he welcomed them and takes out a whiteboard to explain clearer her diagnosis. He starts to explain about humans have “20,000 genes and all genes are made up of DNA”. One gene’s name is “FB N1” and they were wondering if that’s the gene Lizzie was missing. They compared all the genes between her parents and hers and found out Lizzy have one wrong copy of that gene. Lizzy was the only one from the family and conclude the gene is “Marfan Syndrome”. Marfan syndrome could complicate the eyes, the heart, and the bones. There’s one that Lizzy has she can gain weight and the name for it is “lipodystrophy”, which is the reduction in fat. She has two syndromes and the other one is “Progeria Syndrome”. There are 5 more people with the same syndrome as Lizzy, she has both syndromes, and it causes her to not gain weight. The doctor told them he would like for Lizzy to see a cardiologist to see an image of her heart to have a better look at her aorta (“the blood vessel, the big blood vessel arises from the top of the heart and supplies blood to the rest of the body”). She could develop a problem with a fracture that could cause her big health problems and she would need emergency surgery. She asked how she would know when that happened, the doctor told her there was no way she could know but Lizzy can get medication to help prevent her from getting worst. The dad asked what would happen when she gets older, the doctor said he didn’t have a clear answer since it was certain. They need to keep in observation and make sure everything goes smoothly. Lizzy and her family were glad to finally know what her diagnosis was and thanked her mom for encouraging her to see the doctors. Rita felt guilty for Lizzy’s disease, Doctor told her it wasn’t even you; it happens is nobody’s fault. Lizzy asked do you feel better it wasn’t you. The doctor told her syndrome makes her feel unique, which Lizzy refers to as her different. She thanks the doctor for everything, then said her dad told her when the time is to go there was nothing that could stop that. She is going to live thinking positively, and bravely and hope her heart is as strong as her. Lizzy was getting everything ready for her presentation. Rita started to talk about her faith and her family took her to church, Lupe went on her own and when they had Lizzy, he promised to serve for Lizzy could have a healthy life. And He kept his promise to keep going. While she was getting ready, she was on the phone saying bye feeling happy, then she saw a hateful message, and that push her to be heard she wanted to accomplish what she came to the word, and it was to show how brave you can be in a world full of mean people. People were congratulating her and let her know how she inspire others. The audience was clapping, she said in Spanish “Hola, todos como estan” the only Spanish she knew, and the audience laughed. She gave a powerful speech letting them know about her, also, her syndrome won’t determine the person she is. She spoke about where she came from and that she had a dream “inspired people”. If she can talk to a room full of people and change one life, she has done her job. She believes she could accomplish anything she put her head to she knew she was a beautiful person inside and out and doesn’t let people determine who you are as a person. She said a quote she likes and goes “When you know who you are, and what you stand for you stand and wisdom”. At the end of her speech, she said gracias Mexico, the audience clap so loud for her. Lizzy was talking to a woman about how it feels to talk to so many people and after her presentation, people come to Lizzy because they connected with her. The pressure she goes when she inspires so many people and when she gets a break to think can I keep going? the woman told her “Just be you”, to be herself that she was going to make a difference no matter what, to show her love, and go out there to defend those who are going through bullying. A woman started to talk about bullying and what it means and how hurtful could be for students “both physically and mentally”. Bullying doesn’t allow students to do their best in school. There are more kids who can end up in a gang for help. She’s working to make a change in federal law so the students who are going through bullying could have more protection. “The safe school’s Improvement Act” it’s to protect those students who are being bullied and that there are consequences if you bullied someone. Then we are introduced to a gentleman, who talks about students not knowing the meaning of bullying and how hurtful it could be. The students define bully as getting hit, but they ignored it could also happen in social media. He continues by saying bullying is to make harm to others. The old generation could stand up to the bully, but now things are different. Only if the old generation experienced maybe they could understand things have changed and is worst and doesn’t understand kid going through bullied every minute. Students not only go through bully in school but also when they go home and must deal with a bully on social media. The woman also added how is it possible the legislation hasn’t made that bill to protect against bullying. Congresswoman Sanchez congratulate Lizzy for the amazing work she was doing. Lizzy was happy to be sitting at the same table with Congresswoman Sanchez and be able to fight against bullying. She was happy to work with the congresswoman and make their voice heard. Lizzy let her mom know she wasn’t feeling well but continued saying hello to a scientist in the conference room. She opened up about how she felt excited to be able to help with the research and to notice that there was not much support. The scientist let her know how proud he felt and let her know he saw her TED talk and got inspired. Lizzy started talking about how she knew there’s no medicine for bullying, but they can make people aware of how much that hurt others. She continues saying she wasn’t feeling well, she went to the bathroom throw up, got in her wheelchair came out of the bathroom. The gentleman let her know how happy he was she attended. Lizzy told her mom to call the doctor, but she wasn’t going to give up and finish that powerful speech. She wasn’t going home without putting up a fight. Lizzy started to talk about her syndrome, she explained it didn’t let her gain weight. She was talking about what school is for her, every day she had to deal with bullying about her appearance. She wanted to let them know how important the bill was to be passed to help those kids who are going through bullying. She continues talking about how kids killed themselves because of bullying. She keeps saying “It has to stop”. She didn’t want them to feel sorry for her, she wanted them to think how many lives it can save if only they sign that bill. Lizzy told them to put themselves in her shoes and the kids who go through bullied all the time. Lizzy can believe how far she has become, how she become the person she is today. She was able to embrace herself and go out there to fight for others who don’t have a voice. She knows bullied won’t stop but if more people continue educating others maybe we all can make a change. She was out of the hospital, had surgeries, and felt sick, but that didn’t stop her from continuing to fight for what she believed. Quote # 1 “They’re calling her the ugliest woman in the world.” – 17:35 minutes I couldn’t believe people could be so cruel. The fact they took their time to create such a mean video just to hurt another person, and not have any consequence is heartbreaking. I cried because I could only imagine how Lizzy felt when she saw her picture and was called the ugliest woman without them knowing why she looks like that and what she went through. I wish we could have more control over the internet and not allow those people who are trying to hurt others make any videos. Quote # 2 “Then I started realizing, Am I going to let people who called me a monster define me? Am I going to elect the people who said, Kill it with fire? Define me? No, I’m going to let my goals and my success and my accomplishments be the things that define me.” – 28: 37- 28:52 minutes I was inspired by Lizzy’s words, and it help me see life from a different perspective. She didn’t let those hateful words determine her as a person. She is a strong and beautiful person. It helps me realize how important it is to believe in yourself, and not let negatively change you. Lizzy focuses on her goals to help those kids who go through bullying and don’t have a voice to defend themselves. After hearing her words, I can say I am more determined to work hard for my goals and not stop until I achieve them. Quote # 3 “The safe School Improvement Act is meant to provide national standard across every school district in every state. That says bullying will not be tolerated on school campuses. – 64:20- 64:33 The congresswoman is trying her hardest for the law to be enforced. I do believe every school should take more serious methods to end bullying. The act could help millions of students who don’t feel safe in school because are victims of bullying. The district should educate school administrators to make more rules and to le the student know what could happen if they intend to bully another student. I stand up for this Act and I hope one day we can hear schools are a safe pace for students. Action Section I will look at how I can contribute to keep teaching students about bullying and how much damage it can make. I will also, write letters to every district and school to add a class to their curriculum that talks about bullying. I will also send a letter to Lizzy to support her in letting her story be heard, so people can have more knowledge. I will encourage every counselor and teacher to be more alarmed because sometimes students who are being bullied don’t show any signs. I would like to make a change and become part of people who advocate for those who don’t have a voice.